Understanding Grief: An Integrative Counselling Perspective

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Grief is a natural response to loss, but it can touch every part of our being — mind, body, and spirit. While Western psychology views grief as a process with emotional stages, Eastern medicine sees it as an imbalance that can affect the body’s organs, energy, and vitality. An integrative approach honours both: holding space for emotions while supporting the whole person through healing.

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From a counselling perspective, grief is not something to “get over” but something to move through. With compassion and integrative care, grief can become a pathway to honouring love, restoring balance, and reconnecting with life.

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1. Exploring the Roots of Grief

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• Life Events: Bereavement, separation, illness, or major life changes often bring profound loss.

• Trauma & Complicated Grief: When loss is sudden, traumatic, or unresolved, the grieving process can become overwhelming or “stuck.”

• Mind-Body Impact: Grief can lead to fatigue, disrupted sleep, appetite changes, and lowered immunity, showing how deeply emotions affect the body.

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2. Counselling Approaches in Integrative Therapy

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• Grief Counselling & Narrative Therapy: Helps express the story of loss, honour memories, and find meaning.

• CBT & Acceptance-Based Work: Supports those struggling with guilt, regret, or intrusive thoughts.

• Somatic Approaches: Grounding, breathwork, and body awareness release the physical weight of grief.

• EMDR & Trauma-Focused Therapy: Useful when grief is complicated by trauma, such as sudden loss or witnessing suffering.

• Mindfulness & Compassion Practices: Cultivate acceptance, self-kindness, and presence during difficult moments.

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3. Traditional Eastern Medicine & Grief

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Chinese Medicine Perspective:

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• Lungs (Seat of Grief): The Lungs are directly associated with grief and sadness. Prolonged grief can weaken Lung Qi, leading to breathlessness, fatigue, low immunity, or a heavy chest.

• Heart (Shen – Spirit): Deep sorrow unsettles the spirit, creating restlessness, palpitations, or emotional disconnection.

• Kidneys (Essence & Fear): Long-term grief may drain the Kidneys, leading to exhaustion, hopelessness, and loss of vitality.

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Healing may include acupuncture, breath-focused qigong, herbal support, and practices that restore Lung and Heart energy.

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4. Mind-Body-Spirit Integration

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Grief affects all levels of being. Healing requires honouring each dimension:

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• Mind: Counselling, storytelling, and reflection help make meaning from loss.

• Body: Breathwork, acupuncture, yoga, and movement support release and renewal.

• Spirit: Rituals, meditation, and connection with community or spirituality provide comfort, continuity, and hope.

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5. Whole-Person Healing

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Integrative therapy does not try to “fix” grief,  because grief is not an illness. Instead, it creates a supportive container for mourning, meaning-making, and eventual transformation. By blending Western counselling tools with Eastern practices, individuals can process their grief while strengthening the body and spirit.

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